Hi! I’m Buckwheat. Uhmemba Me?

It’s been awhile, but I have an excuse. We sold our house and moved into a new one, and that’s taken up the majority of my time. And as a result, I haven’t had much chance to follow sports as closely as I’d like, so I haven’t written anything either (because I detest when people espouse opinions about things they have inadequate knowledge of).

Anyway, enough with the excuses. The Falcons have made a ton of moves over the last couple of weeks, and I need to talk about them. First, The Purge (reference for any Lost fans out there): The writing was on the wall for Rod Coleman. He was an underperforming, overpaid, injury-prone DT for too long. Crumpler was a bit of a surprise to me. But I guess when you think about his salary combined with the mileage on his odometer, he’s a little older than his birth certificate reads. So, fair enough, I guess.

Next, the additions: I like the acquisition of Michael Turner, but I don’t like the contract. I feel like he and Jerious Norwood can be a great 1-2 punch over the next few years, and that he’s one of those “downhill runners” that everyone covets these days. However, I’m afraid that the similarities between Turner and Peerless Price are too close for comfort. I guess I’m once bitten, twice shy (kinda like this*), but take a look at the two deals:

  • Both Turner and Price were the 2nd best players at their positions on their team (Turner with SD and Price with Buffalo) where they weren’t under the pressure to be the lead dog
  • Both were relatively unproven when we signed them
  • Both were the “best available free agent” at their respective position
  • Both got contracts that many around the league viewed as too large

We all know how the Peerless Price signing turned out, so let’s hope Turner has a different fate. Enough on that.
*By the way, when I thought of this video just now, I thought back to when I was about 10-12 years old when it came out, and how I remembered it having the hottest women I had ever seen up to that point in my life, with all kinds of gratuitous skin being shown. But after watching it now? It’s an absolute joke. There’s one shot of a torso at 3:58, and that’s it–of course, that torso does not include a belly, because waistlines were made 15 inches higher up until the mid- to late-90s. This shows how desensitized we’ve become in this age of internet porn at everyone’s fingertips (speaking of which, give me about 5-10 minutes. I need to take a “break.”

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Okay, I’m back now). Anyway, that video reminds me of the Patton Oswalt routine where he talks about how every rock video in the 80s was filmed in some sort of abandoned warehouse where they apparently manufactured sparks. That always makes me laugh. 

I heard someone on The Rude Awakening say the other day that the Falcons have to overpay for free agents because their franchise is in such bad shape. But here’s the deal: they’ve been doing this since Blank took over, and during times of success. Their franchise wasn’t in bad shape when they signed Ovie Mughelli to a deal that’s so depressingly large that I can’t even bring myself to look up the actual figures. Their franchise wasn’t in bad shape when they signed Ed Hartwell to a deal that even Isaiah Thomas would’ve thought twice about.

IT’S BLANK’S FAULT, people. All of these dumb asses that cheer for the single owner, as opposed to a corporation, because of their supposed passion for winning and devotion to the team–this is what you get. It’s basically what would happen if you imagined yourself running your favorite team with millions of dollars at your disposal. You’d make bad decisions all the time, with little attention paid to common sense and financial restraint. Not that I necessarily favor a corporation over a single owner, but people can’t automatically think that if one person owns a team, he inherently makes smart decisions. 

Whatever. I’m sure the Falcons will draft Matt Ryan instead of Jake Long, and Joey Harrington can bring Ryan under his wing and show him just how to transform himself from a #3 overall pick to a shitty back-up in no time. Yes, I, the ultimate defender of Joey Harrington, just said he’s a shitty back-up. I can’t help it. These are dire straits.

Maybe the whole Ryan thing could work out…but the Falcons have got to get some help on the offensive line. I heard GM Dimitroff on the radio this morning talking about possibly working with the “talent” (my emphasis, not his) that they currently have, and shaping them into better players. You can’t make a chocolate cake out of a pile of shit, Tom. If we do not draft at #3 for a top offensive lineman, or grab one in the 2nd or 3rd round, then we must stock up on a mid-level type guy with a manageable contract. Matt Ryan might as well be Bob Ryan if he has no line to protect him, as Harrington, Byron Leftwich, and Chris Redman can attest to.

We’ll see what the draft holds. I will definitely reserve judgment on the new regime and give them some time to instill their philosophy and build their team. With the current shape of this franchise, Falcons fans aren’t expecting a Super Bowl this year. But we’d at least like to see the foundation.

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3 Comments

Filed under General Atlanta Sports

3 responses to “Hi! I’m Buckwheat. Uhmemba Me?

  1. Jeff

    Hey man, good to hear from you again. Congrats on the move! I’ll read more and comment later when I’m at work and have time. Just wanted to mention that 790 was mentioning the possibility of a MeAngelo to Cleveland for Brady Quinn deal. Maybe if that went down that would put the Matt Ryan talk to bed once and for all and we can concentrate on getting one of the two Long boys!

  2. The Beard

    I’ve seen you commenting over a TBL and wondering when we would get another post. With you first post being about the falcons’ moves does that mean you have given up on the Hawks?

    I really hope we don’t take Ryan or Quinn. I think we need to get the rest of the team ready for a quarterback to come in before we make a move for one.

  3. atlantasportsfan

    I agree with both of you…I don’t necessarily want Quinn or Ryan, but if we could get Quinn for just MeAngelo, I would do it in a SECOND. I don’t think that trade would happen, though. The Browns could get more for him.

    And Beard–I can’t give up on the Hawks. I’ve been obnoxiously driving the bandwagon since October! Read my next post about my current thoughts…and thanks for reading!

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